Miraging faith

Saturday, June 30, 2007

~.~ im dam tired. I didnt even do any hw for the past few days and im still tired. =.= wtf?!

Yes, indeed i had fever the last few days. And... i was bad. Really. The headache was... well what headaches do. And i had rashes on my body. AND THEY ITCH! and my mum dun allow me to on fan or air-con... so, every night i am like cooked... (it has always been like that but having fever is worse...)

omg... cannot take it anymore. I think my medicine causes drowsiness...

Channeler of lust
5:22 AM
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Sunday, June 24, 2007

I doubt there are much people reading this but I'll just type anyway.

Yesterday was the last day of Adam khoo thing. I got more demotivated seeing everyone else motivated :P:P
But when during the closing ceremony, i got motivated. Why? They dragged the whole thing for 1 hour. -.- Yes 1 hour. i could do like hw with that time (which i wont coz i wanna make it up for lost comp time). Anyway. The guy doing the ceremony said alot of things which ithink was rather true. well... my parents werent there as they dont understand english... and... i saw people just let the vents in their heart release... And bens fater came even tho his father gave him 'the LOOK' and so ben volunteered to opt out :P But him came. And when ben saw his father he was jumping, with joy (he claimed he was shocked) and after that he had a hug... and gone abit haywire for a while. (overjoyed i presumed) And... well my class did a all for one thing... couldnt remember what i was called. I didnt have space to squeeze in but somehow squeeze in. And when we all went -whoosh- some people tumbled on the floor...

I actually saw how believing could cause miracles to happen. Well... the brain... it can be so easily manipulated yet its streangth is unspeakable. Brain... Sian...
And i did a chem mindmap based on pure memory as i didnt bring the txtbk. And when i was told to say out the mind map, i couldent. But i can draw anther one lol. Then the instructer said: 'choices have consquences...' and... well... i was stumped >.<
They claimed to be passer bys. But to others, they are, and i mean ARE, the saviours. the impact they cause. The sleeping the awakened... The bleaking future, has been refurnished to be luminous intensive glow. Hopes... rather, MUSTS are created...

So... thats what i remember anyway... and... well im kinda saddened with my hw... -.-
so i'll just post this and skip it. go sleep and get culled tmr (maybe the teachers will be touched by the closing ceremony and give more days ^^)

and my conquer just dced =.=
till next time :D

Channeler of lust
8:40 AM
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Friday, June 22, 2007

DAy 2... stranding in the loams of light, still living, oblivious to the god dam surroundings. I suppose im what the trainers call: good luck (if u get what i mean. if not, then it means gone case).

The morning was kinda more about jokes... but i learnt alot. I, for one, saw things that were oblivious to me, even tho its freaking obvious. and that coach stinks. I hate him. ~.~
coaches... guess sports was nvr my thing

Afternoon, got a scolding. about we dwindling life away. And he asked me how i felt when thousands of people went to save this little boy and he was a bum. I replied: waste of space. I mean ya, y not, i was saying about myself. im one (i usually saw im a waste of oxygen more often but space will do). then he said some sperm thing =.= and i was like... wtf?! im saying myself but portrayed another person but actually im saying myself. (in other words im saying myself ) WTF?!

then we went to some... thing... visualisation thing. U know... lower your head, close your eyes (and he shuts the lights) and he says stuff... about seeing you, parents and stuff. Other people cried. I didnt'. Was i, with some others, didnt give a damn or was devoid of emotions? oh for f*** sake i dont know. And u know what, i still dont. zzzz I already knew what he said. the logic (or so i interpret it). parents tend to do things u dont like but its for your own good. Well... ya. they do. But i didnt know how to react. seriously i dont. And if im gonna do something like... i l*ve you, the 1st thought in their mind could be thinking: siao ar?
well... i cant do a thing. For years. I knew that all along. And... its probably y i didnt cry. I know im wrong, and i didnt do anything. and still dont get that remorseful. maybe i should consider them birthday gifts.... if i know what they want.
Besides, i spend all my BD with my parents, since i wont celebrate it if i was myself anyway (except a self made instant noodle as cake >_>) and i hate being in photos. Im freaking ugly. An eyesore. and being not in photos save lives. lol

Night... goal setting. Didnt know where to go agian. I have no idea what course to do in poly, but want to go poly because i want to skip PE and MT >.< if i go poly i gotta play dice -.- (there are 4 courses i want... i'll just find 2 more :P) and jc... X.X
then there was masters and degree and diploma thing. HUH?! oh well. dunno. I always follow my principle i saw on TV (im a TV freak sadly)
Believe in yourself, and you'll always win.
well... gotta do P&C to do my goal setting now :P (or tmr morning) till tmr

i am extremely apologatic for the tonnage(ton actually) of spelling error that might be found. Im damn tired >.< well...

till next time. (which would be tmr)

Channeler of lust
8:25 AM
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Thursday, June 21, 2007

today didnt quite do anything... went for adam khoo... motivational camp... well... i was motivated... to learn and crush people's minds. They have the power to. I knew they have it. I'm gonna have it. use it. purpose? act of impulse. hack with it.

Was drawing most of the time off.. like they say, the right mind got bored. I was bored actually. LOL. well... dunno. Im not sure what they did subconsciously but... hack care. F*** with it.

i can see that many were motivated in the last 30 mins. esp the girls... well, gonna gt owned by them in o lvls. but i dont really give a gawd damn care. its just some papers. like they will own papers with a pen better i own papers with shredders :) lol. WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO MY MIND?! I AM TALKING(typing) NO SENSE! (actually im just tired lol)

i was the slowest in the speed reading thing. Keep missing the word lol. I didnt really read. i just scanned through. I can really fast (slower then derick anyway and that 25k psycho) but i have to read a few times sometimes to get what i read. so... maybe thats y i lost to derick lol. i feel kinda bad for making all the boys do some stupid exercises... well. hack care. boys love push ups anyway (except me and some other)

and the music they play is damn distracting. I have those 'heavy metal' (or rock) music when im in a compatition. Well... im kinda listening to the 'song of storm of fire' now to rid my mind of all those 'pollutant' music :P

well gtg sleep now... got 2 days more of this ahead of me... and homework....

Channeler of lust
8:31 AM
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Wednesday, June 20, 2007

hm... a few days have passed... i havent done anything actually. Today i feel damn latergic. Don't know why... i didn't do much homework these days... very tired. I'm not sure whats wrong(maybe im been staying up too much)...

well, i only have one day to do all my remining hw - sunday

Thurs - Sat will be eaten up by 'i am gifted so are u' workshop (aka adam khoo workshop) I hear i gotta report by 7.30am... and i'll be sleeping at 12.30 coz i wanna watch hell girl.

Yesterday went to library to wait for mike... and he had something to do so he didnt turn up. So i went into the library and borrowed a book on einstien's laws of relativity thingy. Damn complicated even tho the things inside is simplified... hmm...

holiday gotta end soon... im not sure if i call this holiday tho...

Channeler of lust
8:17 AM
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Monday, June 18, 2007

Well...toook me 2 hours to trouble shoot all the bugs, and another 1 hour to make the bg...
well... i practically cut and pasted almost all last data, except editing a few... adjusting this and that...

the right navigation bar looks squashed... i know... but i dunno what to do about it :(
and i'll change the navigation 'words' to animated gifs as soon as im done making them.

I'm open to comments. I am a total color mixing idiot :P

*goes back to life*
alright i confess. I couldnt complete the science papers in 2 days like i claimed i would. :P got lazy and... skipped it for 3 days. I ahve tomorrow, wednesday and sunday to do. Thurs - sat got adam khoo workshop... and tmr got oral practice at 12 nn...

Channeler of lust
8:48 AM
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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

huh... so long nvr update le... and the skin havent even do, the banner for maple guild blog havent make, chiyo's new dp also nvr make, maple also havent play yet... it all seems like im making empty promises to everyone... and everything...

I'm so tired... everyday wake up early 1st thing is go school for maths... and recently i found out that my maths speed has greatly reduced,as well as accuracy has greatly reduce. Also, i also cant be bothered to think about how to do maths... just tired... 2 maths papers a day... today i didnt even bother to do one paper at home... just wanted to rest. I also left all my science stuff untouched... ~.~

btw i made a few quizzes when i was doing maths..
here

so... ya... hmm... mother tongue oral... havent done a freaking damn about it... guess my Mt will be a gone one... i can only rely on the conversation. I am completly helpless in writhing, and reading chinese characters... have no right to claim im a chinese. T-T

well... haix...

Channeler of lust
8:26 AM
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Saturday, June 09, 2007

Shucks another day has passed. It was much more enjoyable as there wasnt MATHS involved. And i also consulted a ex tuition teacher who now is an engineer :P got a little motivation.... but still....

Btw i played DF (dragonfable) today and it was very and i mean VERY lame -.-
The bad guy's egg exhumed all sorts of rainbow, sunlight etc and turn into a baby dragon that was in love with the evillord. Of course , the evil lord turn it to something else >_>, which my egg came out a dark slender long dragon and then it transformed to a baby dragon which was sleeping =.=""

Well i basically forgot the rest that i wanted to type so i've gotta cut short here lol

Channeler of lust
9:16 AM
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Friday, June 08, 2007

YAY its friday... i didnt really do any maths today... i needed a big break. I feel like the more i do, the worser i've become. The more i dunno. zzzz. I spent 2 hours today and did one question. Which was wrong. Fark tard :P

so... i'll probably spend tmr playing and playing then sunday back to maths. And the whole of nxt week, and the nxt.

Today english lesson, mdm noraha asked the group in front (its always the in front isnt it? the pro maths ppl are in front, while the precipation is at the back) and reynold, derick etc said 'ok...' to avoid trouble. But kin leong practically POURED his grivence... so i wonder what will happen to us. Will he give more, less? or give up on us? I'm not sure. Uncertainty. But i know one thing. Worrying that is of little importance. Gotta care the rest of my hw...

till next time.

P.S its all about hw this holidays isnt it? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

im getting worser in maths >.< i hope this is only a feeling...

Channeler of lust
8:45 AM
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Thursday, June 07, 2007

Math math and more math. Thats the only concept now. And nothing else. Everyday do math drill.

I have so many questions i dunno. But there is no apparant help available. zzzz
I still have 1 1/2 papers to go... and its 11 pm now... ~.~
Its torturous. The stress is unspeakable. The doom of not being able to do is greater or even greater the infinity.

i dont even have time to do what i want or other hw...

well guess its back to more 'doing'~

Channeler of lust
7:59 AM
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Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Its just past midnight. I'm tired. I still have more maths to do tomorrow. I have maths to do now. Its maths. Its really terrible. Everyone is managing fine with it. I'm suffering. I am doing maths so slowly. I can't even employ basic concepts. I have to finish what i have to do today(ok yesterday) before i sleep. I still have social studies. I still have...

I have skipped so many questions. I am not for the idea of peer tuitoring when we are assigned work to do. Everyone is so engrossed in finishing the task that the intrinsic essense of tuitoring is probably equal or less then null. As such, only few benefit, or they get the answer without really knowing what is deemed nesseray.
Eg. Reynold. He got the solution. Nut his explaination sux! it only means 2.134124363563 things. 1, he dunno. 2, he know but dunno how to expian 0.124(3sig fig) i am hallucinating he know how to do.

I'm tired... i still have much more to skip... the answers always seem to go agianst me.

Well... back to more slogging.........................................

Channeler of lust
10:09 AM
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Saturday, June 02, 2007

Nothing to do... i hate the homewrok that piles up... zzzz i keep making quizzes... so if u wanna try...

Test 1 (10)
Test 2 (6)
Test 3 (20)

Now... lets think about how singapore will be like in 20 years time. Many will say... green city, flying cars.... etc... But i will embark on a different perspective.

In the future, the schools will be all philipino teachers. Face it. Its true. No one now ones to be a teacher >_> So everyone will be learning tagalog! YAY!

Kopitiams? Coffeeshops? nah there wont be those. all u see will be fast food restaurants fill with salads >_>
And the neighbourhood stalls will be overrun with LAN gaming, SPA, Facial and other luxuary services. Maids will invade the shooping centres, since EVERYONE is busy at work (bith father and mother) and the neighhood markets are taken over by SPA stuff. Barbers? NAH! UNISEX SALONS! zzzz

Cars... they will still be the same... only that there are more in quantity. U will observe that every space in between flats will be multi-story carpark of somesort. Probably all roads will be COVERED with buildings due to lack on land. (hence, cars will be driven underground)

Smoking, emo, gambling... will be a pandemic. Its everywhere. Since the mass media says its TRENDY so everyone makes it TRENDY! :D

So... ya... thats what probably singapore will be like soon... and im kinda woried coz im in it!!! SAVE ME!!!!

This is only my prediction as how things are going now. Any similarity is just a coincident. Please do not take anything here for serious purposes.

Channeler of lust
5:19 AM
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Friday, June 01, 2007

YAY finally got in.... :P (alot of passwords cant remember)

Nearly a week of hoilday has gone. And i still don't feel it has been fully utilised. Sian...

Bored.... I see the pile of HW increasing... yet i havent gave a damn about it >.<

The only way to defeat the HW is to use a pen (hence the idiom)

the chem SPA skill 3 involves planning an expriment... people idd it within 1/2 hour... zzzz

Usually i took 1/2 hour... but since they usually do so slow... i did it SLOWLy... and they did faster =.= .well.

There was once i went to a famliy outing... And when they asked why do i look so sad, i wanted to answer :"there was nothing to do!". Obviously that was rude so i was thiking of another answer. And the assumed i didnt want to answer -.- Freak them. no0w i RUDE!!! ARRRRRRRHHHHHHH

My cousin asked why do i look so tired. I wanted to answer "i played game till late in the night". But my parents were there and i am not in a good postion to answer am I (no more comps for me if i do)

Then he turned away to talk to his parents. I though, he seldom had a chance to talk to his family so i didnt want to bother him. Then after that dinner, my parents said i was rude. I didnt know how to react, not rude. zzzz NVM

well... i am now having fun creating *tests*. Its lame... but it burns time :D
tell next time... hope life would be better then...

Channeler of lust
6:24 AM
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