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Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Another update!
!!!
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1st and foremost,

SIAN!

LOL ROFL SIAN!
YES SIAN

SIAN - a feeling which one gets when he or she is bored. And sleepy.

Everything is just screwed up. The laws, the theories, the empathy... all screwed. It's like the quantum theory implanted in our exprience of space and time. Eveything is mixed up. All twirly whirly and spinning.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Whay I have predicted the distribution of the class has changed, as one guy (the one which I'll probably hate most) has opted to get transferred to another class (possibly he went to take 4 H2 as it is the 'in' thing) Everyone's taking it... I feel so out... Well heck, the government try to make things simpler, but they just want to prove (showoff) that they can handle more. Well, they work more and will possibly get more yield... but what's the opportunity cost?

Competition is now more stiff. Some question me what school I was from, and when I mentioned my school, their reaction was ESSS can get 10 pts one meh? It's like -wtf la retards. =.= All of you posses better English, better grades in everything, but your emotional quotient (EQ) is like more miserable then mine. And I thought I was emo.

I have this hypothesis that in every society there is only a certain number of each person of each type of personality, I'm trying to increase my willingness to convert to a more less-emo kind of personality, but the stains of the past hinder me to do so. I still have to be independent... In case I get thrown into another new realm again... At least I Will still survive.

Data I have absorbed. (not important can be skipped altogether)

1 guy. His style of writing is aggressive. I have hence implied that his is a very competitive person. He could probably be the type that will do anything to achieve his goals.
Another. Knows alot. Participates actively. But likes to drag ppl down with him when he isn't good in a particular field. Probably he needs company, but most likely he is after something more of achievement value.
There is another guy no in my class. He talks to the lecturers alot. He seems to be a physics fanatic. Everything physics involved he'll be there. He will always try to show that he knows more physics that everyone does. He even complained that how the syllabus is arranged is screwed. Well, bless him.
There's another girl. She complains, or what clement called comments, that the more challenging questions are not challenging at all. Well, I can do it without any problems and I didn't even complain.

Questions are often easy when the teachers went through it.

I seem to be prejudiced and often hate those that might be smarter then I am. There are only few smart people that I respect, but most that get good grades or show to have it are just... empty bottles...

I seem to have less control over my thoughts now. I don't even know why I think this person is bad etc. It's just by the tone, eye position, patience when one conducts his/her talk that I deduce the type of person he is. If needed, I'll induce anger to the person and test him. I'm becoming such a sicko... I don't know why... Probably I'm just trying to protect myself in my new school environment. One where elitism is god. We study for the sake of exams.

invisible cracks are forming in my mirror. What I see myself, this world is, is crumbling. Perhaps everything should just be wiped out. Like a really bad dream.

I miss my secondary school. I really do. I need breathing space. I need those that I am fond of...



Channeler of lust
3:09 AM
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