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Sunday, April 27, 2008

I am in denial.

Every time an unpleasant answer is received, I tell myself that that person is joking. Now I know they're not. I'm pissed with my project work group. With such retarded cohesiveness, I can question the presence of an A on my A level certificate on the PW section.

When I asked for assistance, everyone stayed quiet. As if telling me that please don't pick me. The leader asked me to pick anyone to aid me. It was a psychological attack. I cannot retaliate, I can only retreat and surrending. She kept mentioning pick anyone. She kept suggesting names. It was a iminent sign of a direct challenge. Since you won't give half a damn I won't too.

Just because I've got an A2 for english in o level does that mean i have to carry the burden of doing all the work? Surely you guys did not do much research either. From responses, none of the relavent fields of research was mentioned. Indicating a deficit in information available. Also, I've contributed a great bulk of the discussion. I was part of the discussion for the 1st 3 ideas, and I was too caught up in finishing the final piece to be participating in the majour of the 4th idea.

I've contributed too. Shouldn't I be exempted from typing the final piece too? Furthermore, I have more outstanding homework to do. And you sycophants can only say "can ar" and "thanks"
apart from keeping quiet. Of course I am neglecting the fact that they might be sleepy or sick, but surely, I am no more tired then them. My body is falling apart because I am sleeping at 12nn on weekdays. It's twisting the limits of my biological clock.

Since you guys have more outstanding time why don't you do it? Reasons like math tests and i need to study wont work. Don't I need to study? I have AVA duty from 6-10pm tomorrow, and the day after that I've got maths(?) and general paper comprehension test. And my knowledge on them is ground 0. Humans. Here I am complaining, unable to do anything constructive to integrate my plight. All I can do is throw tantrum in this little space of mine, vulerable to checks of all sorts, all dangerous and bare. But my humane desire remians. Being lazy, pushing blame, take credit.

That's the best phrase to describe my group, and yours truely.

Enough said of those vermins. I'll be in self denial again.
And my mum isn't helping. Whatever i do is wrong. All she sees is me playing games. SCREW IT MAN. I WNATED TO GO THAT DAMNED POLY, AND YOU GUYS TRAPPED ME I THIS CAGE. INSTEAD OF ENCOURAGING MY YOU'RE JUST GOING TO DRENCH MY SANITY. IT ISN'T MY FAULT FOR DOING LAST MINUTE. QUESTION YOURSELF. QURRALING, STUDY TABLE IN THE LIVING ROOM. HOW AM I TO CONCENTRATE? THE ONLY TIME I HAVE IN LATE AT NIGHT. i'M JUST GETTING CRUSHED. SLIENTLY

This week thursday I had chemistry spa. It was hectic. Cannot talk. Have to do the right techniques. Very stressful. The teacher's eyes scan the room like an eagle, ready to mark your marks down whenever possible. and got one part the precipitate keep coming out through the damned filter paper. shit man. Im getting marked down for that.

Last week friday went out for speechday. It was like a recollection of past memories. What I've noticed it that everyone has changed. Not one has stayed behind, except me. I can't say if i know them anymore. perhaps... just perhaps... they've killed my off their memories...



Channeler of lust
8:09 AM
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