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Friday, June 22, 2007

DAy 2... stranding in the loams of light, still living, oblivious to the god dam surroundings. I suppose im what the trainers call: good luck (if u get what i mean. if not, then it means gone case).

The morning was kinda more about jokes... but i learnt alot. I, for one, saw things that were oblivious to me, even tho its freaking obvious. and that coach stinks. I hate him. ~.~
coaches... guess sports was nvr my thing

Afternoon, got a scolding. about we dwindling life away. And he asked me how i felt when thousands of people went to save this little boy and he was a bum. I replied: waste of space. I mean ya, y not, i was saying about myself. im one (i usually saw im a waste of oxygen more often but space will do). then he said some sperm thing =.= and i was like... wtf?! im saying myself but portrayed another person but actually im saying myself. (in other words im saying myself ) WTF?!

then we went to some... thing... visualisation thing. U know... lower your head, close your eyes (and he shuts the lights) and he says stuff... about seeing you, parents and stuff. Other people cried. I didnt'. Was i, with some others, didnt give a damn or was devoid of emotions? oh for f*** sake i dont know. And u know what, i still dont. zzzz I already knew what he said. the logic (or so i interpret it). parents tend to do things u dont like but its for your own good. Well... ya. they do. But i didnt know how to react. seriously i dont. And if im gonna do something like... i l*ve you, the 1st thought in their mind could be thinking: siao ar?
well... i cant do a thing. For years. I knew that all along. And... its probably y i didnt cry. I know im wrong, and i didnt do anything. and still dont get that remorseful. maybe i should consider them birthday gifts.... if i know what they want.
Besides, i spend all my BD with my parents, since i wont celebrate it if i was myself anyway (except a self made instant noodle as cake >_>) and i hate being in photos. Im freaking ugly. An eyesore. and being not in photos save lives. lol

Night... goal setting. Didnt know where to go agian. I have no idea what course to do in poly, but want to go poly because i want to skip PE and MT >.< if i go poly i gotta play dice -.- (there are 4 courses i want... i'll just find 2 more :P) and jc... X.X
then there was masters and degree and diploma thing. HUH?! oh well. dunno. I always follow my principle i saw on TV (im a TV freak sadly)
Believe in yourself, and you'll always win.
well... gotta do P&C to do my goal setting now :P (or tmr morning) till tmr



i am extremely apologatic for the tonnage(ton actually) of spelling error that might be found. Im damn tired >.< well...

till next time. (which would be tmr)



Channeler of lust
8:25 AM
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